The Friend Zone- a place between earth and hell

millions of men world wide suffer horribly in painful silence as they waste time and money (esp money) trying to woo a woman who has cruelly put them in the friend zone. She just can't get the fact that you are not gay so there is no plausible reason on earth why you would want to be "just" friends with a very attractive woman.

No matter how much effort you put, you still get that pathetic line like " aah thanks bud!' or "you are my best friend in the world and i love you to bits" or another line that will feel like electric jumpers on your balls " you are like a brother to me". Truth be told you didn't go out there to look for another relative you wanted some and you know what im talking about...and as soon as another guy walks by she drops her jaws and further torment you by "oh that guy is fine" and in your mind you are thinking "What tha F bitch can't you see i am right here".

You started out fine but somehow along the way you took a wrong turn and ended up in the friend zone. You now the guy she talks to about the other guy she likes but you freeze when you should tell her how you feel and when you finally get the guts to tell her how you feel you get some crap  in your ears like "oh i love you too soo much that i don't want to ruin our friendship" Whaat? and you believed that shit! that is bull karangoes, she is trying to gently lay you down and that's like tying a stone around a cat's neck and throwing it into the river rather than just putting a bullet to its head and get it over with. It has now been a long time and you practically know this girl so well yet you can't break out of this prison called the friend zone.

Chris Rock once said something like :--
You know one cool thing about women, women get to have platonic friends. "He's my pal, he's my bud, he's my pla-ton-ic friend...I love him like a brother, he's my bud, my platonic friend."
Men don't have platonic friends. We just have women we haven't fucked -yet-..."as soon as I figure this out, I'm in there!".
I mean, we got some platonic friends, we go "Oh no I got some but they all by accident - every platonic friend i got is some women I was trying to fuck, i made a wrong turn somewhere, and ended up in the friend zone - Oh No! I'm in the Friend Zone!".

"you're really great, you're just such a good friend" and a million derivatives there of. Most likely being said around the globe as you read this. 

Another accurate way to define this horrible situation is:

A realm of darkness and depression between hell and the earth's surface where innocent males are sent to by attractive/nice females when acting friendly as an attempt to build a good relationship with a female to interest them in a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. This horrible place is to be avoided at all costs and all males are advised not to develop a crush on their close female friends in order to avoid this.

I am not talking about the girl that you tolerate or that girl that you do not have any intentions of macking on, (these are the girls that you yourself have sentenced to the friend Zone) Or your hommies NO, i am talking about that daij you got the hots for but she has friend-ed you. That hot daij you secretly wank to every night and tomorrow you will be hanging out with her on the pretense of "friendship", Yes that girl that shamefully got you watching "sex in the city" and "twilight" with her and after that it didn't aid your situation in whatever way. Yes you know that girl that got you into a situation where you have all the responsibilities of a boyfriend but with none of the benefits.

Truth is there were certain things you should have done and some you should not have done but maybe its too late and you are already trapped it this merciless web of the Friend Zone. So to all my fellow soldiers on the frontline trying to break out of the "Friend Zone" here is some valuable intel you could use.

take note...

1. If she really likes you she will find it very hard or nearly impossible to ask you for things (yes that includes money and airtime)

2. If u are 'just a friend' next time you go on a date go Dutch (it shouldn't be a surprise to her though else we will kick you out of the men's club- douche bag)

3. Do NOT be fooled by the "sweetie", "dear" talk (she probally calls her dog by the same pet names) that is just to get what she wants from you! Stay focused u are not yet in the promised land of "boyfriendhood"

4.Do not offer her advice on the subject of men ( in that instance you are officially the girl friend in a man's body)

5. When she talks about other guys do Not suck up to that crap, Don't pretend like you are cool with it and you don't mind when we all know its killing you inside.

6. When you unfortunately realise you in the friend zone the best thing is to walk away but if you are staying for the battle at list talk about other girls that you like and like you and spend time with them, contrary to what you think it will not push her away.

7. Stop being Mr Nice guy, just stop it, it not only makes you look bad and desperate but it also weakens you as a men, it eats right through your spine and before you know it you are bending over to do every little thing you think will impress her when you have become a convenience to her.

8. Say NO for once, "hey can you take me to this other joint?"  uhmm "NO" don't just say yes to everything she asks you to do even if and when you can, have some dignity. In fact ask her to do some favors for you as much as you do those little favors for her, if she can't then why should you!

9. Do NOT worship the girl she is not a goddess, it is good to compliment a woman (when it is appropriate) but do not lick her behind by showering her with praises at every turn, we all get it she is hot but that is not a ticket for her to make your life a living hell. 

10. Give yourself some boundaries for crying out loud, if you are not "YET" the boyfriend then know when to stop, there are certain things that only the boyfriend should take responsibility for and you are not yet the mayor of that town so let some things be. 

11. If (by some miracle) she happens to kiss you one day because she just broke up with her boy friend do not get all emotional and shit and think you have arrived  wait for her to tell you how she feels about you, in the mean time enjoy the ride and don't be in a rush remember you do not want to sound desperate which would be a major turn off on her part.

12. Show her that you want her, let her know you are attracted to her in the first conversations you have after that exciting moment when you get her number. 90% of friend zoned fellas only told the girl that they liked her when she was already dating another oan and most of the time the girl might think all you want is a pla-to-nic relationship. 

13.  Do not assume you are going out just because you spend most of your time togethr that is a recipe for the worst disaster do not leave anything to chance, you need to learn how to close the deal! ;-)

14. If she has a boyfriend already don't hate on the man he is a fellow brother, if she likes you she will not often mention him and she will never introduce you to him or do the other gay thing and that's send you his pic, my good friend allow not such atrocities to be committed against you. let me explain this for a moment- when you get introduced to the boyfriend it means you are not a threat and what that means is you are not a future potential sexual partner, you are like one her girl friends. Do you really want that to haunt you?

15. if you like her so much then do the descent thing and ask her out and if she doesn't like you back, saddle your horse and move on, let her miss you if she will but keep your distance (the later is good for you).

Being nice will not get you anywhere, do not change the person that you are so that you can be close to a girl. Do" you" to the fullest and get a back bone whilst you at it and girls will like you just fine. Have a set of balls that they will hear knocking together from a distance away, have the confidence to be YOU but do not be corky that wont get you any milage either.


watch this 'friend zone single' click on the link below
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=OSwsJtSfyXU

 
true but you will never escape if you can't realise you are caught up in one..
Emancipate yourself from the "Friend Zone"

by Mc N o r r i s