Monday 21 January 2013

The Friend Zone- a place between earth and hell









millions of men world wide suffer horribly in painful silence as they waste time and money (esp money) trying to woo a woman who has cruelly put them in the friend zone. She just can't get the fact that you are not gay so there is no plausible reason on earth why you would want to be "just" friends with a very attractive woman.
No matter how much effort you put, you still get that pathetic line like " aah thanks bud!' or "you are my best friend in the world and i love you to bits" or another line that will feel like electric jumpers on your balls " you are like a brother to me". Truth be told you didn't go out there to look for another relative you wanted some and you know what im talking about...and as soon as another guy walks by she drops her jaws and further torment you by "oh that guy is fine" and in your mind you are thinking "What tha F bitch can't you see i am right here".
You started out fine but somehow along the way you took a wrong turn and ended up in the friend zone. You now the guy she talks to about the other guy she likes but you freeze when you should tell her how you feel and when you finally get the guts to tell her how you feel you get some crap  in your ears like "oh i love you too soo much that i don't want to ruin our friendship" Whaat? and you believed that shit! that is bull karangoes, she is trying to gently lay you down and that's like tying a stone around a cat's neck and throwing it into the river rather than just putting a bullet to its head and get it over with. It has now been a long time and you practically know this girl so well yet you can't break out of this prison called the friend zone.


Chris Rock once said something like :--
You know one cool thing about women, women get to have platonic friends. "He's my pal, he's my bud, he's my pla-ton-ic friend...I love him like a brother, he's my bud, my platonic friend."
Men don't have platonic friends. We just have women we haven't fucked -yet-..."as soon as I figure this out, I'm in there!".
I mean, we got some platonic friends, we go "Oh no I got some but they all by accident - every platonic friend i got is some women I was trying to fuck, i made a wrong turn somewhere, and ended up in the friend zone - Oh No! I'm in the Friend Zone!".
"you're really great, you're just such a good friend" and a million derivatives there of. Most likely being said around the globe as you read this. 
Another accurate way to define this horrible situation is:
A realm of darkness and depression between hell and the earth's surface where innocent males are sent to by attractive/nice females when acting friendly as an attempt to build a good relationship with a female to interest them in a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. This horrible place is to be avoided at all costs and all males are advised not to develop a crush on their close female friends in order to avoid this.
I am not talking about the girl that you tolerate or that girl that you do not have any intentions of macking on, (these are the girls that you yourself have sentenced to the friend Zone) Or your hommies NO, i am talking about that daij you got the hots for but she has friend-ed you. That hot daij you secretly wank to every night and tomorrow you will be hanging out with her on the pretense of "friendship", Yes that girl that shamefully got you watching "sex in the city" and "twilight" with her and after that it didn't aid your situation in whatever way. Yes you know that girl that got you into a situation where you have all the responsibilities of a boyfriend but with none of the benefits.
Truth is there were certain things you should have done and some you should not have done but maybe its too late and you are already trapped it this merciless web of the Friend Zone. So to all my fellow soldiers on the frontline trying to break out of the "Friend Zone" here is some valuable intel you could use.
take note...

1. If she really likes you she will find it very hard or nearly impossible to ask you for things (yes that includes money and airtime)

2. If u are 'just a friend' next time you go on a date go Dutch (it shouldn't be a surprise to her though else we will kick you out of the men's club- douche bag)

3. Do NOT be fooled by the "sweetie", "dear" talk (she probally calls her dog by the same pet names) that is just to get what she wants from you! Stay focused u are not yet in the promised land of "boyfriendhood"

4.Do not offer her advice on the subject of men ( in that instance you are officially the girl friend in a man's body)
5. When she talks about other guys do Not suck up to that crap, Don't pretend like you are cool with it and you don't mind when we all know its killing you inside.
6. When you unfortunately realise you in the friend zone the best thing is to walk away but if you are staying for the battle at list talk about other girls that you like and like you and spend time with them, contrary to what you think it will not push her away.
7. Stop being Mr Nice guy, just stop it, it not only makes you look bad and desperate but it also weakens you as a men, it eats right through your spine and before you know it you are bending over to do every little thing you think will impress her when you have become a convenience to her.

8. Say NO for once, "hey can you take me to this other joint?"  uhmm "NO" don't just say yes to everything she asks you to do even if and when you can, have some dignity. In fact ask her to do some favors for you as much as you do those little favors for her, if she can't then why should you!
9. Do NOT worship the girl she is not a goddess, it is good to compliment a woman (when it is appropriate) but do not lick her behind by showering her with praises at every turn, we all get it she is hot but that is not a ticket for her to make your life a living hell. 
10. Give yourself some boundaries for crying out loud, if you are not "YET" the boyfriend then know when to stop, there are certain things that only the boyfriend should take responsibility for and you are not yet the mayor of that town so let some things be. 
11. If (by some miracle) she happens to kiss you one day because she just broke up with her boy friend do not get all emotional and shit and think you have arrived  wait for her to tell you how she feels about you, in the mean time enjoy the ride and don't be in a rush remember you do not want to sound desperate which would be a major turn off on her part.
12. Show her that you want her, let her know you are attracted to her in the first conversations you have after that exciting moment when you get her number. 90% of friend zoned fellas only told the girl that they liked her when she was already dating another oan and most of the time the girl might think all you want is a pla-to-nic relationship. 
13.  Do not assume you are going out just because you spend most of your time togethr that is a recipe for the worst disaster do not leave anything to chance, you need to learn how to close the deal! ;-)
14. If she has a boyfriend already don't hate on the man he is a fellow brother, if she likes you she will not often mention him and she will never introduce you to him or do the other gay thing and that's send you his pic, my good friend allow not such atrocities to be committed against you. let me explain this for a moment- when you get introduced to the boyfriend it means you are not a threat and what that means is you are not a future potential sexual partner, you are like one her girl friends. Do you really want that to haunt you?
15. if you like her so much then do the descent thing and ask her out and if she doesn't like you back, saddle your horse and move on, let her miss you if she will but keep your distance (the later is good for you).

Being nice will not get you anywhere, do not change the person that you are so that you can be close to a girl. Do" you" to the fullest and get a back bone whilst you at it and girls will like you just fine. Have a set of balls that they will hear knocking together from a distance away, have the confidence to be YOU but do not be corky that wont get you any milage either.


watch this 'friend zone single' click on the link below
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=OSwsJtSfyXU


 
true but you will never escape if you can't realise you are caught up in one..
Emancipate yourself from the "Friend Zone"

by Mc N o r r i s

Wednesday 16 January 2013

The rebirth...

Heard that boy standing before me with a full beard,
Absent of sanity, or maybe being a lack of maturity
It is you that is ugly, not what God fashioned,
but what you've created yourself
That which needs to die to give birth to another one,
another one like me
Same as I see in the mirror,yet not the same
Chastise this heart of mine with desires like a wild vine,
like a fire, yet for fear of being called a boy, I dare not whine
So divine is what we all wish it would be, but no it be a beast
Its life force poured out like wine
But yet or maybe to give life to that which will be called divine
Still that boy stands before me in a full beard...

Heard that girl standing before me with a full body
Absent of clarity, or maybe being a lack of maturity
disembodied voice, fashioned from the same stone,
yet marred in its form Verity born out of death,
the birth of another one, another one like me
Kindred souls that sing the same song, but to each a different tune
Chastise this heart of mine with wisdom,
awaken my soul from this wild dream,
Suffocating,
yet for fear of being called a child, i dare not scream
Yearning for divine lucidity, but still it mocks me wolfishly
Perhaps a knowing smile to the end of this iniquity,
hope rekindles within this tortured soul
But still that girl stands before me with a full body

Vile thoughts that subdue his mind, invasive and unforgiving
Thoughts that threaten to expose me,
redemption is my craving desire
fixed on that tide of salvation, his need to escape so dire
Two halves of the same heart, but in her eyes a darkness lies
A darkness he sees for the same he feels
hidden in the gloom of my soul
From this soul, a light within,
a saviour to pull her from this hole
And so he digs for truth like a mole,
with thoughts of that girl standing before him in a full body
Clarity born from maturity, like a phoenix from the ashes they stand
reborn, recreated....









by McNorris Hakata and Wilhelmine Wachter http://thewritemonkey.blogspot.com

Tuesday 15 January 2013

Reflections of a free agent!


I Hush and walk away realizing the things that momentarily paralyze me, my gaze is fixed on something uhmm on something more, it’s like a trance, lost in that wave of excitement, drowning in a world of possibilities.

In the scorching heat of my denial a breath of cold air to freeze my nerves that breeze of temptation.... tempting me to be superman, yes I can, indeed I am. Now how do I steer these wings when I avoid emotion like the tears that u shed, at list the showing of it.

 You say I’m cruel without a soft spot or a heart that beats but you do forget that in time u danced to that beating drum of my passion lost in your own world of joyful song but I guess time changes much and so do people. I was just another hit song.

 It is not your accusing eye that paralyzes me, far from it but rather the realization of what I can now posses. (I can be that ‘all’ time favorite classic). True, life is a performance but in this one, (without your constant directing) - I am more alive. There are no ‘cuts” just action.

 To seek to correct the heart of me was to deny me, so now my gaze is fixed on something, uhmm something more. More than an occasional word of affection, more than parking behind another man’s car at your gate, more than your three months long apology after realizing, the sun of my gaze was now fixed on something, uhmmm something more.

 You call me cruel because I Hush and walk away realizing the things that momentarily paralyzed me!
 

Friday 11 January 2013

THE HUNTER'S SONG....

back to tha bush ,
told u im a hunter, HUSH,
know u felt tha thunder,
im Ruthless and yes u goind under,
 i don fold til the game done told,
 told u my story
 u aint ready im sorry,
viscious like a hound
 sniff u off the ground
 im mean, im in
and no u aint my kin,
i live by the code, BOSSMATICS,
hutslers dawgmatics,
simple mathmatics
im the boy with the riffle,
blah bla
lets get this party on

chorus


oohh i like it, put it on the grill lets brai it. or even in the pot lets cook it ts so tasty yea,
taste even better with some marinade,
ohh i'll drink to that, that kudu looks so good le me have it,
 and that sable on the side ill take that...

night falls, sky falls
lights out your out
ts the end of the world sucker ha ha,
 im the focused dude with a knife
coming for your life, IRONIC,
coz i feel so alive.
gat my camouflage on
i like it ts on, SAFARI,
IM the boy from Harare
 im feeling the rush
yea i see you trynaa dash, dash
away from the king
im tha do do don kiss the ring
you cant hide from the scene
yes i know where u been,
quiet like Mr bean
im the boy with riffle
blah bla
lets get this party on

chorus
oohh i like it, put it on the grill lets brai it. or even in the pot lets cook it
 ts so tasty,
taste even better with some marinade,
ohh i'll drink to that, that kudu looks so good le me have it,
 and that sable on the side ill take that...
TO ma fellas with your knives
lets have it
all my ladies with your plates
come take it
yes i did it for the hood
do u feel me...

 Chorus
oohh i like it, put it on the grill lets brai it. or even in the pot lets cook it
 ts so tasty,
taste even better with some marinade,
ohh i'll drink to that, that kudu looks so good le me have it,
 and that sable on the side ill take that...


LYRICS BY Mc N o r r i s hahahahaa

Green



By Wilhelmine Wachter

I am the whispering color of life
Soft echoes of pain and joy reverberate in my being, lush and full, I overflow,
Glory dripping like an elixir of life
I am the feeling of life, the intoxicating aroma of existence
I am the shuddering comfort to the life I created
The same life that looks at me, but doesn’t see me
Lovingly I caress and wrap warm fingers around envious throats
Still and suffocating
I am the past. I am the future. The scorned beauty of the earth.
My soul is a fiery ball of passion.
I am the sound of a melody written to curb your dark desire.
Rich notes rise from sweaty palms
I am the bitter taste of guilt, the sighing sorrow of innocence.
I am weak in the face of death, silenced by the hunger of my designs.
I wilt and fade, reaching dying fingers to envelope and overwhelm.
For I am life itself. Powerful beyond measure. Weak beyond doubt.

Thursday 10 January 2013

faded....


Relics of a long forgotten life
withered petals of a once beautiful rose
like the last stars before the sunrise
that has left me with feelings of nostalgia

unbreakable chains of a reality so strong
inescapable in the vice of its tentacles
those soft petals that softly hit the earth
that vivid memory that caress my mind like a mirth
that has left me with these feelings of nostalgia

the pain, the venom, feeling so high
at that moment i was willing to die
the sting, i felt it flowing in my veins
without gain, was it all vain
panning in my mind for those bits of memories
that left me with these feelings of nostalgia

feel so cold just by recalling the day
that dark moment when yet absent from your gaze
in kindness fixed upon my mortal form
melting my pain away
and only your smile showed me the way
now those days are but relics
relics of a long forgotten life
withered petals of a not so beautiful rose after all
they were just but feelings of nostalgia

now just . . .faded!!






 

by Mc N o r r i s

Wednesday 9 January 2013

what they don't teach you in business school!!!



Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,
but she belonged to someone else...


One day , Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to
her and said , "I'll give you a $100 if you let me
screw you. But the girl said NO.


Johnny said , "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on
the floor , you bend down , and I'll be finished by the
time you pick it up. "


She thought for a moment and said that she would have
to consult her boyfriend... So she called her
boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says , "Ask him for $200 , pick up the
money very fast , he won't even be able to get his
pants down."


So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour
goes by , and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.


Finally , after 45 minutes , the boyfriend calls and
asks what happened.

She responded, "The bastard used coins!"


Management lesson:
Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

Wilhelmine- the completion of me.

Soft smiles, tender chuckles, euphoric conversations more than just a familiar sight, gestures more vocal than words, a sigh , a deep breath, the sensation of a touch-
 I could bask in your company forever.

Kisses that taste of pure love, the sweet aroma of excitement, a hair sprung up or maybe I’m just sprung over you. I gaze at you amazed, such bright eyes when you smile and when you laugh the ground beneath my feet softens, listen to my heart the way it beats cause somehow you turn the key on and I’m ignited-
 where did you come from?

You got me under this vice, in your little trap like a mouse, my mind filled with inescapable thoughts of u, a drug you are, tasted once and got me addicted. Soft smiles, tender chuckles, those euphoric conversations... damn!

Captivating eyes, the spark, a reflection of a free spirit, a shade brighter than the sun, a glance that defines beauty, beauty that defies nature herself the reason I do ask myself-
are you from this world?

 Weakened by that venom called passion, aroused by that bare breast of promise, enticed by those wet thighs of longing thoughts, those powerful tentacles of your vice behind my back, I don’t want to escape, moments of pleasure, intoxicating giggles, a sigh, a deep breath, the sensation of a touch-
I loose myself in you.

You rock my boat, I’m capsizing in your charm.... you rock my boat as in your papa must be a rolling stone.
Now learning the things to which i'm prone, you give tone to the beating of this heart.
You rock my world.

How can I say you complete me even if it’s just for a moment, in this short life soon to fade from memory,
so i dare not compete for the things i know not of but only this one thing that ertenally remains true-
I love you


Soft smiles, tender chuckles, euphoric conversations more than just a familiar sight, gestures more vocal than words, a sigh , a deep breath, the sensation of a touch-
 I could bask in your company forever.
 


by McNorris Hakata,,